Here it is, word-for-word:
I would like to apply for a position on the blizzard dev team. i realize that the black temple is already in development, so i'm going to design a brand new raid instance named the "Not as Black as the Black Temple".
Attunement:
Single quest similar to the naxx attunement. to receive the quest you must be exalted with the following:
cenarion expedition
thrallmar/honor hold
lower city
the violet eye
shattar
booty bay
bloodsail bucaneers
and some new factions that arent in the game yet
quest received from adal
bring adal the following:
-20 heads of nightbane (doesnt have to be nightbane, could be anything that's on a 1 week timer, such as magmadar's left paw)
-350 heroic badges (again, the timer is the key part)
-10 of each flask available in the game (this is obviously to prove that by this time all flasks have been discovered on your server, because all encounters will be balanced around them)
-50 of each potion/elixir (same reason as above)
-5 stacks of certain food (this part is class specific, for example if youre a healer you have to bring Golden Fish Sticks. this shows that you can either fish and cook them yourself, or have someone else who can do it for you. again, these will be required in every encounter, including trash packs)
-All the collective gold on your account, as well as any you recieve in the following three months. (this is to ensure you do not cheat by buying any reagent used by any of the craftables and actually farm everything yourself. it will require you to level multiple characters to 70 in order to farm everything. there will be a new repair bot as part of the promised engineering rework that will require 36 of each primal - including nether - and it will repair your items for free. obviously your entire guild will have to farm these so you can repair between attempts)
The instance:
upon entering the "Not as Black as the Black Temple", your entire raid will be crushed causing all items on everyone to break. this is to check to see if you have an egineer who has learned the new repair bot recipe since it is crucial to the instance. all gear in your bags and bank will also be broken to not allow any gear swapping.
the dungeon itself will be designed as an original maze with keys that open gates leading to further parts of the dungeon. there are multiple paths to follow, all unique and never before seen in any other dungeon crawler game. totally unlike anything that you might have experienced in any other game. (note: "any other game" does not include games in the zelda series, or games that use dungeons with keys.)
the overall instance progression will be as follows: first three bosses > the gauntlet > the tedious maze > raid check > hall of endless trash > 3 more bosses.
so lets start,
Soontobetuned Cockblock Lord
10,000,000 HP
8 minute enrage
immune to taunt
abilities:
lolcrush: passive - allows Cockblock Lord to crush your tank ignoring all types of mitigation. cannot be dodged or parried.
roflaoe: 30s cooldown - will create a double barrier around a random player. anyone inside or outside both barriers will recieve 10000 damage after 2 seconds. players within the two barriers will recieve 5000 damage. inner barrier is at 40 yards from the targetted person, and outer barrier at 41 yards.
pwnageswing: 10s cooldown - Cockblock Lord will enchant his melee attacks with a random element and begin attacking with elemental damage instead of physical.
hardon: at 40% Cockblock Lord will begin to fight with his Cock, allowing him to hit additional people in melee range, or squirting on any ranged caster.
after clearning Soontobetuned, you can loot a dungeon key from him and proceed to either Dice Roller the Blind, or Farmalot the Resist Checker.
Dice Roller the Blind
5,000,000 HP
no enrage timer
tauntable
abilities:
Blind Throw: 5s - Dice Roller will blindly throw his two glaives in two random directions. anyone hit by either of the glaives will die. this also resets his agro.
The Salad: 5s - players will randomly receive a buff called "Tossed" that will allow them to attack/cast 50% faster. has a high chance of targetting Dice Roller himself.
Soul Gaze: 30s - Dice Roller will revert your attack type, all damaging skills will heal him, and all healing abilities will damage allies. the tooltip for this ability is hidden.
Petrifying Vision: 1m - Dice Roller will turn a raid member into stone for the rest of the fight.
Luck of the Draw: used at 20% - has a chance to wipe the entire raid.
Dice Roller may or may not drop a dungeon key.
Farmalot the Resist Checker
Farmalot has five forms corresponding to the five schools of magic: fire, frost, arcane, shadow, nature
7,500,000 HP
15 minute enrage
non tauntable
abilities:
Chromatic Blast: 2m - Farmalot will emit five waves of elemental magic. Each pulse will be a different school of magic and the damage dealt equal to 20% of the player's health. No resists in at least one school will result in death.
Pulsing Essence: aura, 50 yard radius - Farmalot will emit an aura dealing 2000 damage every 2 seconds of whichever form he is in.
Chromatic Shift: 2m - Farmalot will change forms resetting all agro and picking a new elemental form.
The Great Sink: 1m - 20 beneficial buffs will be removed from players, players with under 20 buffs will die.
Resist Checker will drop another dungeon key. it can be used to either open Dice Roller's gate, or proceed further into the dungeon. the next step: The Gauntlet.
The Gauntlet
The Gauntlet is a fast paced tunnel packed with action. For every mob killed, two mobs will spawn, causing it to become more and more difficult. At the end of the Gauntlet is the next gate, leading into the Maze.
The Tedious Maze
In order to revisit old encounters, The Maze will consist of nine randomly chosen bosses from old dungeons. They will all have slightly different names, although still recognizable. They will also be uniquely redesigned so that they look a slightly bluer shade of what people have been used to. These nine random bosses will drop a fragment of the next dungeon key, in addition to new loot. the new loot will be amazingly new and never before seen, it will resemble the tier 3 set from naxxramas, except it will be blue, and in some rare exciting cases green. Once all 9 fragments have been combined to form the next key, player can proceed to the next part.
Raid Check
This is a unique event similar to the Karazhan Chess and Opera events. Upon activating the Raid Check, 25 NPCs of random classes will spawn (odds are very low, but it is possible for all of them to end up as one class). Each NPC must be matched by a player in your raid in full tier 6 gear. If the matchup does not occur, you cannot proceed deeper into the dungeon. This event completely removes the chance of having stacked raids and gearing out certain people, such as tanks for the four horsemen and magtheridon. Now your raid has to be stacked by every class in every possible way, no more discrimination. It is recommended that you do not attempt this event unless you have at least 10 people of each class in full tier 6 who are able to log in and out based on the NPC respawn of the week.
After matching the NPCs a chest will spawn containing the next dungeon key.
Hall of Endless Trash
Many people disagree, but a good long session of trash killing is the cornerstone of any raid. That's why the Hall of Endless Trash will be enjoyed by most. And for the people who do not believe in trash being exciting, there is now a new twist. the 20 trash pulls in the Hall of Endless Trash will have a certain kill order. If killed in the wrong order, the Hall will reset and all mobs will respawn. For example if pack x is cleared and then pack y is cleared, pack x will respawn if pack y was not to follow x. So the best way to proceed is to kill different combination of packs until you find one that does not cause a respawn, and then work from there. This will result in an exciting and dynamic possiblity of 20! trash pulls, or roughly 2.4x10^18.
After clearing the Hall, you can proceed to the last few bosses of the instance.
Pushover Bore the Lootbag
20,000,000 HP
no enrage
abilities:
Hybernate: 10m cooldown - Pushover will enter a hybernation stage, reducing all damage caused to it by 75% and regenerating 1% of its life per second. Lasts 20 seconds.
Yawn: 1m - Pushover will yawn. Yawning has no effect at all on anything.
Unmotivated Blow: 10s - Pushover will swing at your tank in a very unmotivated fashion. Causes half damage.
after defeating Lootbag you will have access to the last two bosses of the dungeon: Glitchmaster and Crashmaster.
Crashmaster, Lord of Rolling Server Upgrades
This fight is so amazingly awesome and fast paced that the current servers cannot handle the load. In order to avoid spoilers, the abilities will not be listed. To give a brief preview, the fight will be a mixture of Simon Says, sports trivia, Counterstrike, Whac-A-Mole, a blender, Hungry Hungry Hippos, an appearance by Eric Idle, Dance Dance Revolution, the Break system from Final Fantay VII, Need for Speed, River Raid, the original Batman movie, a scripted surprise ending by Stanley Kubrick, and much much more.
Glitchmaster the Impossible
Glitchmaster is a 3 phase fight. Phase 2 occurs at 50% life, and phase 3 at 20%.
10,000,000 HP
no enrage
untauntable
Phase 1:
Bugout: with every swing Glitchmaster has the ability to bug out and spawn a fresh copy of himself, restarting the fight.
Bugin: with every swing Glitchmaster has the ability to despawn himself.
Glitchstrike: 10s cooldown - Glitchmaster will strike a player and enraging them, causing them to deal extra damage. However the strike will glitch and nothing will happen.
MORE TO COME AS I WRITE IT =)
Subject: **The endless raid event =)** 
Mon Sep 10, 2007 3:40 am